


My Strings Are Torn

by therraggedydoctor



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amnesia, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Recovery, Slight torture, Spoilers, TWS spoilers, and the end hurts like a lot, fluff in the beginning, gonna be a long fic, kind of, this is going to take long, whole story is basically a flashback
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:15:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1666079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therraggedydoctor/pseuds/therraggedydoctor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes where kind of supposed to be, he thinks. They were growing up together, they were best friends. And then the war came and a super-solder serum and Bucky died and Steve got frozen. And still, it was not the end to their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Strings Are Torn

**Author's Note:**

> OMG WHY AM I DOING THIS  
> Okay, you might have guessed but this is my first longer fic, and I am not asking you to be nice. Actually, if I made a mistake, tell me right away, so I can become better. Anyway, this is going to be become a seriously long fic. It is basically covering the whole story of Steve and Bucky, how they grew up and stuff and of course it is an AU because it's Stucky and even though I would love for it to be canon, it is not. So bear with me.  
> This is just the prologue and very short. The actual chapters will be a lot longer.

Most of the time he wishes he could just go back to the first page and start all over again.

When he dives into the water, dirty and cold, so horribly cold, he has a sudden thought. He realizes that he was a person once. He has been a real, breathing person with a life and friends and … Then the thought is gone and he is the Winter Soldier again, a weapon, built to kill and willing to obey every command.

But why is he going after this guy then? He said he was his friend. But why should anybody consider a weapon a friend?

He grabs his arm, firmly, and suddenly he doesn’t know where the surface is anymore. He doesn’t panic, but he is scared for the man who is depending on him to survive, and _why is he helping him?_ He finally sees the sun shining through and goes up, up, up. When he breaks through the surface he takes a deep breath and then a feeling as cold as the cryo tank manages to make him freak out for a while. Where is Steve? Why does he know that guy’s name is Steve?

He dives down again, no, he can’t let him go, he has to save him, and he doesn’t even know why, he just _has_ to get him out of the water. The water is so cold that he doesn’t feel his feet anymore. Finally, _finally_ he grabs the man’s sleeve and pulls him out. He doesn’t even take a breath when he is out of the water.

He drags the man behind him as he swims. When they get out of the water, he leaves him there and walks along. If he is lucky, the man survives. If he is not, the Soldier won’t be there to attend the funeral. The contrast of him being so desperate to get him out and then just leaving him there was huge, and he does feel guilt. Which is unrealistic, since he is not supposed to feel guilt. Hell, he is not supposed to feel anything.

He starts running. It is cold and he feels the wind on his wet body. He runs faster. Why did he leave him there? He thinks of turning around and saving him for real, but no, he can’t, and he is running away from his fear. And from Hydra. He realizes that he is running away from the life he was living for the past – he doesn’t remember how old he is.

And that is when he breaks down, curls himself into a little ball right in the middle of Washington D.C. and starts hyperventilating.

**Author's Note:**

> You survived. Congratulations!


End file.
